At WAR Games Con 2010

Writing is reality. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. In the beginning, God spoke creation into being. He told a story and we’re the sequel.
If you weren’t there, then the word, in this case written, is your reality. Must write faster. Writing is processing, mediating, preserving. No deadlines, but must write faster. Digest more so I can consume more. Repeat.
Over and out.

Potential: Realized vs. Squandered

I don't have much time to sift through the myriad comments people make on my blog, but one gem did catch my eye:

"Um...I expected more...It's funny...but I'm still a little disappointed."

Ah, how many times have I heard that in my life? If not in reference to me, then in reference to my work. I can't tell you how often I've let a deadline loom too close for me to think about actually engaging the task at hand. Instead I'm forced to look for a clever way to impress the person that can cut me some slack. I'm probably as lazy as I am because this strategy usually works. What little work ethic I have is probably due to the few people who were @$$h0l3$ to me. (Is that adequate self-editing?)

So does this skill carry over into 40k? Well, anyone familiar with gamesmanship knows that you can put an opponent off of his game by being a real ass OR by being really friendly. You know that saying, "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"? Well, it is easier to win a game if you can first catch the fly (or some part of his attention). Obviously trying honey first is most effective.



However, is gamesmanship beneath a true sportsman? Or is psychological warfare part of the contest between generals facing off across a table of miniatures? What do you think? More importantly, how do you think your opponents feel on the subject?

In Defense of Censorship

What can I add to this? You either get it or you don't.

On a side note, I am curious how old my son will be before I let him read GW books. What do you think they're rated? PG-13? TV-14? R? Well, he's only just learned the alphabet, so I've got a while to decide that one.

The Abominable Snow Job

Well, I've had to edit this because Funny or Die's widget doesn't jibe with Blogger. So thanks to them for this funny pic:


And now for my top ten captions for you to enjoy (because I posted these on Funny or Die scant hours before the next pic went up, prompting people to ignore my genius. Did I just mispell genius? Spell checker says...No! But I did misspell "misspell." Ouch. Irony is a double-edged sword. Those who live by the pen die mightily by the pen, often by their own stroke!):

10) Unable to watch any longer, Tiffany faces the wall and wonders how she ever thought it would be a good idea to slip acid into her sister’s Kool-Aid. (That's for you, Brent!)

9) Frightened by the shrieking chit, the wookie blanched.

8) "HA!" Suzy yelled triumphantly. "I didn't say 'Simon says'!"

7) Despite a good measure of apprehension, meeting her pen pal of 3 years proved even more traumatic for Jenny then she expected.

6) Why Santa NEVER removes his red coat and pants in front of the children.

5) If imaginary friends could see each other.

4) "Stay Puft!" Suzy snapped. "I told you you COULDN'T borrow my Mohair sweater!"

3) It is one thing to see the rampant albino mole on the family crest day after day; it’s quite another to meet one in the flesh!

2) Every bit as scared as the girl, the giant Opossum collapsed, crushing the chair, the yo-yo, and the family dachshund (out of frame).

1) A little tipsy from the Furry-Con afterparty, Harold stumbles into the wrong condo.


Well there you have it. What? You were expecting 40k? Read this entry's title again, sucker! Oh, and if you can do a better caption for the pic, leave a comment!

Okay, fine, quit your mewling. Here:


0) "Behold! The White Dwarf!!!"


There, a little hobby content for you. Happy now? This top-ten list goes to eleven, baby!

Jive Talking

I've been scooped! Well, what did I expect? I never got around to seeing if a "press pass" or "non-participant discount" existed for Astrinomi-con. And it is just as well. You didn't really think I was going to let my toy soldier fetish stop me from celebrating Juneteenth for the 11th (or is it 12th) year in a row?

Yes, this past Saturday, June 19, 2010, I was indulging in my yearly habit of eating fried chicken, drinking a 40 oz malt liquor, smoking some Kools--and the most important part--watching Blaxploitation films! While this year I was able to include some watermelon, Black & Milds and a second 40, I was only able to show one film. Typically I first show a blaxploitation film, something I've never seen but for which I have high hopes. I like to follow that up with something that deals a little more honestly with "the" African American experience (anything from Michael Shultz to Spike Lee). The last in my trifecta is usually some standup from a black comedian, cuz they help me 'keep it real.' After that, I usually have several classics and second generation blaxploitation films on hand from which my guests can choose. (That's how I've managed to see Shaft a dozen times; thank God for that awesome soundtrack or I'd be tired of the movie.) Unfortunately, this year I didn't prepare, and had to settle for just one movie (and a few Dave Chappelle skits). Fortunately, I chose wisely:



This was an amazing movie. It blows my mind that it only did $228,477 in the U.S. Box office. Either Americans are dumber than I thought or some movie studio deserves to go out of business. If somebody doesn't buy me this movie for my birthday, I will. This movie is probably the best parody I've ever seen. I don't think I've ever seen a more loving mockery. The makers had to have seen even more blaxploitation films than I! If you're only going to show one movie at your "marathon," this is the one!

Dyyyyy-nooooooo-mite!

So what does this have to do with 40k, you ask? Uhhhhh...Shut your mouth, you jive-talking mother#&$R^@&!!!

Nerd Herd Alert

Sorry I didn't tweet this last night, but I passed a gaggle of gamer geeks on Kemp Street yestereve. Must have been a little after 10. Here's the sad part: I was jealous of them. I didn't even have time to stop and say hi (and maybe get glimpse at the store's copy of the new Warhammer book?). That's how little of a life I have right now.

I was on a mission to Walmart to get pre-sharpened pencil because I haven't unpacked any pencils or sharpeners since the move, and CVS had the gall to shut their doors in my face at 10:01 P. M. Upon accomplishing my mission, I experienced my very first bout of test anxiety (which is hilarious since I couldn't care less whether I passed today's tests or not) by laying awake until the wee hours.

So now I've just returned from 8 hours of testing (minus the 12 minute lunch break) and I feel like I've just run a marathon. This is definitely a beer and hobby night. (Yes, I know beer and painting don't mix--I'll find something other than painting...if only I had the new WFB RB!)

Roll, Baby, Roll!

Well, Astrinomi-con is next weekend. And I'm just not interested in speed painting an army. What I really want to do is attend but not participate. Guess I'll contact them in a bit for a press pass.

Of course there is another option...



I could see if my friend Brent needs a dice caddy! Think about it--in a fast-paced, high-stress tournament situation, who wouldn't want an extra set of hands to help reglue broken models, put away fallen soldiers and cart bags, boxes, and books from table to table to hotel room to after parties--well, maybe I'm getting a little carried away.

But seriously, I can see it now:

"Brent, how did you let yourself get flamed by 15 Burna Boys?" I ask incredulously.

"They just rolled up! I forgot about them."

"Well, you can kiss your squad goodbye..."

"No! I just need one to survive so I can assault his front mob next turn and clog that opening until I get can help over here." Rolling my eyes I tell him that that is a LOT of saves to make.

"Pick me out some lucky dice," Brent begs. "Maybe the glittery-purple ones?"

"No way, Brent. You've already rolled 3 of those off the table. I know it's my job, but I am getting tired of finding your dice. It's dusty down there!"

"It's this table; look at all this terrain!" Brent complains.

"Yeah, the terrain...or maybe those three pints you had with lunch. Hang on a sec," I say as I turn away. A moment later I turn back and lean in to continue the discussion.

"What was that?" Brent asks.

"Oh, every few minutes I make eye contact with your opponent and let him see my face go blank. I hold his eyes, never blinking myself, until he looks away, which is always after a few seconds. It really seems to rattle this guy. I think that's why he keeps forgetting to shoot with those Lootas in the back."

"That's awesome!"

"Yeah, I know," I say, grinning. "It's kinda fun too. Anyway, these dice are hot," I say as I start counting out 60 red and green dice. "The last three times you rolled these, they were 50% 5+. Trust me."

"Great, thanks, Matt! What would I do without you?" Brent asks.

"Well..." I point across the table. "If you didn't have me, your opponent probably WOULDN'T be talking to a judge about 'slowplay' right now."